#246 - For Fucks Sake - The Dirty Nasty Things I Do!
Tonight I had sex with two men. I was tied up, spanked, humiliated, degraded. My tits were bruised, my face was smacked. I have marks on my ass and thighs. Every hole I have that could accommodate a cock was used. I came over and over, until I lost count. My cum soaked the sheets. My body still aches from the use and abuse.
This is an example of the dirty, nasty things I do. I top. I bottom. I like cock. I like pussy. I enjoy pain. I enjoy giving pain to others. I love sex, I love BDSM and I have a drive that any 18 year old male would be proud of.
But sometimes, sometimes like tonight, the sex is over and I am sated. I am surrounded by two men who adore me. And I can hear the voices from my childhood and they are whispering, "Slut. Whore." Years later, and hundreds of miles away, I can still hear the whispers of members of my childhood church. . .hear the sound of my mother's voice hissing those hateful words at me.
I don't judge anyone else by what they do in their bedroom with other consenting adults. And if anyone else made judgmental comments in my direction, I would tell them where to go and how to get there. But sometimes, I judge myself. I call myself the names my mother called me after she discovered I was sexually active. I call myself the mean names other girls in the high school called me. I judge me.
I forget that the dirty nasty things I do are just that...the dirty, nasty things I do. They don't erase my intellect or my heart. They don’t make me less of a person.
I am a wife and a mother. I am a good friend. I'm smart and I'm funny and I'm pretty damned loving. This morning I made snack baggies and fruit bowls for my family. This afternoon I hit the local warehouse store. And tonight I did the dirty, nasty things I do. And that is o-fucking-kay.
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Keywords: podcast, kinkycast, forfuckssake, dirty, nasty, beds, poly, threesome, consenting, sex